2015年5月
文／Bert
中文翻譯：元元
一段人生，一段旅程
我從未想過自己會來到英國，更未想過會成為一名移民。我總是渴求過舒適安逸的生活，而一路走來，我發現了原來人生，除了經濟上的成功之外，還有更多其他的事。
上世紀70年代的時候，我的雙親從台灣移居美國。我的父親在台灣的醫學院畢業，已經是一名有資格的醫師，而搬到美國則意味著他要重新參加為獲得在美國行醫資格的考試。在他們搬來美國一年之後，我出生了。因為爸爸要完成他的培訓和考試，他們一直在奔走於各個醫院之間。當時還是個孩子的我，無法理解他們面對的坎坷與挑戰。在美國，華人的處境很艱難，因為在當時美國人還不能完全敞開心扉去接納來自不同文化背景的人們。爸爸媽媽要去學著用英語交流，和不同文化背景的人打交道。他們經歷過歧視，偏見，還有困窘的經濟狀況。就算父親已經成為一名合格的醫師了，他和他那些本地長大的同行們受到的待遇也是截然不同。回想當年，現在的我終於理解了他們舉家搬往美國之時面臨的挑戰和風險，而他們所做的一切，都是能讓他們的孩子過上更好的生活。
最終，我的父母定居在了南加利福尼亞。父親在那裡開了一家診所，為同一地區的華人社區提供醫療服務，他的診所也日益發展了起來。我在那裡一直待到1996年。
一直到那時候，我還是希望住在加利福尼亞的。那裡的天氣比英國更好，工作機會更多，當然還有更好吃的美食。在我大學畢業後，我不確定人生的下一步將會是怎樣的。但是在那時我獲得了去英國實習一年的機會。一開始我並沒有考慮要去，我不想離開在美國安逸的生活，前往到英國的未知世界裡，我想留在更舒適的環境裡。我一直都在家住，也一直想過簡單舒適而沒什麼風險的生活。
而生命的妙處就在於，我們永遠都不知道未來是怎樣的。我們可以權衡各種選擇，估量所有可能，但實際上我們永遠無法得知明天會帶來怎樣的人生。有些人會相信預言家或者占星術給出的答案，但這些僅僅只是猜測，不是堅定的事實。而很多時候，我們會傾向於選擇那些可以在未來將我們庇護於艱難困苦之外的生活，但在現實生活中，我們不知道生命的困境會在何時以何種方式出現。
在那時，我意識到我不應該再安居於已知的人生中。選擇一條「安穩」的道路也就意味著我會錯失探索人生的歷險之旅。也就是在那時，我意識到了當年父母選擇離開台灣，是多麼不可思議的信仰之舉。這是他們的歷險之旅，而現在則輪到我來踏上這一探索的旅程。也許我會只在英國居住一年，也許會更久，但是我需要去探索這段人生之旅，需要做出屬於我自己的決定。我想起母親常常對我說起的那段聖經中的話語：「你要專心仰賴耶和華，不可倚靠自己的聰明。在你一切所行的事上，都要認定祂，祂必指引你的路」（《箴言》三章5-6節）。於是我做了簡短的禱告：「主啊，可否請你指引我？我不知道未來會怎樣，但是我相信你，我想要探索人生。」
人生的樂趣就在旅途之中。就在於在順境中享受美好，就在於在逆境中隱忍堅持。在於面對困難和挑戰，在於不斷克服一個個難關。有失敗、有跌倒、有爬起、有重來。人生的過程就是學習、成長、經歷、分享和發現。我的父母告訴我生命中有比追求金錢更重要的東西，那就是探索和發現為人生帶來的豐盛和滿足。
我現在已經在英國生活近20年了。而這一切的開始就是那短短一年的實習，最終成為了一段長達20年的探險之旅，這段旅程還在繼續。很多次我會思念家裡，會想像如果我留在美國生活的樣子，但是我也會想起在這段旅途上我遇見的人，想起我的改變，想起我的成長，想起現在我生活的這個社區，想起我已經成為了這其中的一分子，想起我經歷過的一切一切。也就是在這樣的時刻，我明白了生命不是帶著後悔回首過去，而是全心全意擁抱當下，懷著期待迎接未來。我自己也終於明白，預言者和占星術也許會告訴你未來的模樣，而只有神會陪你走過這段充滿歷險的生命，每天每刻，永不離開。
(Original text)
Life is a Journey
Bert
I never expected to come to the United Kingdom. I never imagined that I would be an immigrant. I always wanted a life that was comfortable and safe, but along the way I discovered that there’s more to life than just financial success.
My parents moved from Taiwan to the United States sometime in the 1970’s. My dad had graduated from Taiwan as a doctor, but a move to America meant he had to take new exams to qualify as a doctor in the USA. One year after they moved to the States, I was born. My dad and mum travelled around different hospitals as my dad completed his training. I was just a kid at the time, so I didn’t understand the challenges and difficulties for them. It was hard for them to be Chinese in the United States. People weren’t as open to other cultures back then. My parents had to learn to speak English, and deal with people with a different culture. They faced racism, prejudice, and financial struggles. And even though my dad was a doctor, it didn’t mean he had the same respect as those who were born in America. Looking back, I can see now what a challenge and risk it was for them to move to the USA. And they did it hoping they could give a better life to their children.
Eventually, my parents moved to Southern California. My dad opened a medical practice there, which eventually became a thriving medical practice serving the Chinese community that was established in the area. And that’s where I lived until 1996.
Up until then, I had always expected to live in California. Compared to the UK, the weather was better, there were more job opportunities, and there were definitely more wonderful things to eat. After I finished university, I wasn’t sure what the next step in my life should be. When an opportunity came for me to take a one-year internship in the UK, at first I didn’t consider it. I didn’t want to leave all the comforts of the USA for the unknown life in England. I wanted to stay in a place that was easier for me. I’d always lived at home, and I had dreams of a simple, comfortable, secure life for myself.
The thing about life is: we don’t know what the future holds. We can evaluate all the options and the possibilities, but in reality we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Some people believe that fortune tellers or horoscopes can give us the answers. But all of those things are just guessing. There’s no solid truth in it. So often, we want to choose a life that will protect us from hardships in the future. But, in reality, we don’t know when or how life’s difficulties will come.
At that point, I realised that I shouldn’t live trying to protect myself from the unknown. Choosing a “safe” option might just mean that I miss out on life’s adventures. I realised that my parents took an amazing step of faith in leaving Taiwan. It was their adventure. And now it was my turn to discover life’s adventures. Maybe I would just be in the UK for one year, maybe longer, but I needed to discover life’s journey, and make a decision. I was reminded of a verse that my mum used to say to me: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5, 6). And so I just prayed a simple prayer: “God, will you lead me? I don’t know what will happen, but I trust in you, and I want to discover life.”
The joy of life is in the journey. It’s in celebrating in the good and persevering through the bad. It’s in facing challenges, and overcoming. It’s in failing, or falling down, and then getting up and trying again. Life is about learning, growing, experiencing, sharing, and discovering. My parents showed me that there’s more than just a pursuit of money in life. There is a richness in adventure and discovery.
I’ve now been in the UK for nearly twenty years. What started out as a one-year internship turned into a twenty-year adventure that’s still continuing. There are times when I miss home, or wonder what life would have been like if I had stayed in the USA; but then I remember all the people I’ve met, the ways I’ve changed and grown, the life and community I’m part of now, and how rich my experiences have been. It makes me realise that life shouldn’t be spent looking regretfully at the past; life should be spent embracing the present and engaging with the future. I have found out for myself that, although fortune tellers and horoscopes might tell you what your future will be like, only God will travel with you in your adventures every day.