2015年10月
(本文的中文翻譯版在下方)
文／Andy Lee
In a previous role as a Financial Adviser, I joined a Business for Breakfast club where we would meet every other Friday morning at 6am to share potential leads with each other. These clubs are run all over the country, with only one representative from each industry allowed in each club to eliminate any competition. We would take turns giving a 30 second pitch about our business and what we offered. The quality of the pitch was reflected in how easily the other members understood the services or product that each person had to offer and therefore think of potential clients to refer to them. There would also be time at the beginning and the end just to chat and get to know each other better. The first time I attended one of these clubs I felt pretty intimidated. Everyone seemed to have this air of confidence about them. I was in my early 20s, and, being Chinese, probably looked ten years younger than that. I spent a year honing my professional communication skills in this setting, working on all the little details of my pitches, on how to build rapport and mutual respect with professionals from various backgrounds. I can honestly say that I didn’t enjoy it all that much, mainly because of the need to get up at 5am. But I did enjoy the rewards, which were not so much the business I got from it, but the skills I developed.
I learned to be able to tell my story, but more significantly, as I now realize, I also learned how to let other people tell theirs. In addition to the breakfast club I also attended networking events where up to 200 working professionals would gather to try to sell their service or business. Again, for the most part this was not fun for me, but this time it was not because it was early (they were held in the afternoon), but because it pushed me out of my comfort zone every week, to approach or be approached by strangers, attempting to strike up a conversation with the sole aim of doing business.
Here’s what I learned from my experiences: · Not everybody knows how to tell their story
· Some people are not interested in your story, and even if they are, some people are so bad at listening, that they might as well not be interested in your story
· Some people tell their story out of self importance Here’s what I mean by story. Your story is a reflection of you. Anytime you tell someone about yourself you’re sharing your story. It doesn’t have to be your whole story. It could be about your job or your hobbies, your relationships or your week. It’s all a part of your story. Just like a bedtime story though, you should make every effort to learn how to tell your story well. You just never know what may come of it.
Even though the aim of my work examples above was to source new business, you don’t actually need to have an aim. The reason you should be motivated to tell your story well is simply because your story is worth sharing. Full stop. No matter what the plot is, what chapter you’re on, whether you’re just beginning or nearing the end, it’s worth telling. Don’t be put off by unwelcoming ears. Don’t be discouraged by those that judge you. Don’t let others push you back.
I absolutely 100% believe that everybody has a powerful, beautiful and inspiring story to tell. I have no doubt that everybody I have met and everybody I will meet can impact me. Unfortunately some people feel their story is not worth telling. This could be because they have been discouraged in the past, maybe by people who were too self-centered to care. Or maybe they were just not very good at listening. I’ll say it now – listening well is a very hard skill to master. One of the reasons why is because we express ourselves through our own filter of the world. We use words and body language to get our message across but it’s still a watered down version of exactly how we feel and see and think in our mind. Therefore when we listen, we’re almost trying to figure out what the other person is trying to say, more than what they actually say. To be a good listener is hard work. It requires concentration and all your senses to be engaged. Well, maybe not smell!
Lastly, if you’re the type of person that knows you’re a good story-teller, then you may face another type of problem: the issue of pride. To keep yourself in check, dig deep and ask for clarity on your motives. It’s usually the people that mostly talk about themselves that are the most insecure. And if it’s not their insecurity, then it’s self-absorption. This is where their world is a small one, so small that they are at the centre of it! You share your story, and they’ll very quickly relate it back to themselves.
We’re all going to be in one of the categories above, and sometimes, depending on where we are intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, we may recognize that we move from one to another. The challenge is not only to be aware of where we’re at, but also to identify where those closest to us are at as well, so we can lend a loving helping hand.
中文翻譯
說自己的故事
原文:李民輝
翻譯:陸思齊
我上一份工作是當財務顧問，那時我參加了一個早餐會，每隔週星期五早上六時舉行。聚會時參加者都會互相介紹自己的產品或服務，擴闊彼此的人聯網絡。這種聚會在全國都有舉行，而每次聚會中，一個行業只可有一位代表出席，防止相互之間的競爭。每一個出席的人有三十秒推介自己的行業及提供的服務。推介表達得越清晰易懂，其他參與者就越可能在聚會之後替你推廣有關產品和服務。在聚會的前後，大家有時間可私底下交流，認識對方。在第一次參加這種聚會時我感到壓力很大。每一個人看上去也相當自信。當時我才二十多歲，而一般而言，中國人的臉孔看上去總是比實際的年輕了十年。我用了一年的時間去改善自己的溝通技巧，改進每一點演講的細節，令我更容易跟不同背景的人建立互信。老實說，我其實不太享受出席這種聚會－－主要是由於早上五點就得起床。話雖如此，我卻由此獲益良多。不單是在聚會時做成新的生意，還有學到的新技巧。
我在那裡學會了表達自己，也學會了讓其他人有表達他們自己的機會。除了早餐會，我還參加其他人際網絡活動。在那裡有上兩百位專業人士推銷自己的專業及生意。同樣地，這種活動並不是那麼有趣（就算活動一般是在下午開始，我不用很早起床），在活動中我要不斷離開自己的「安舒區」，要純粹因為生意的原因而跟陌生人接觸、打開話題。
以下是我從這些經驗所學到的：
－並非所有人也懂得表達自己；
－並非所有人也對你的故事感興趣。即使有人對你的故事感興趣，但因為他們不擅於聆聽，所以不聽也罷了；
－有些人講自己的故事是因為他們覺得自己很重要。
你的故事就是你的縮影。每次跟其他人講起有關自己的事，也就等於是在講你的故事。這不一定要是整個故事，這可以是關於你的興趣，或者是你的工作，也可以是你跟其他人之間的關係，又或是過去一個星期發生的事。這些都是你故事的一部分。你要學會跟其他人講你的故事，熟練得就像講睡前故事一樣。因為你永遠不知道這些故事會帶來的結果。
要學會講自己的故事，不是只為了要得到新的生意。你可以學會講自己的故事，純綷因為你的故事值得跟其他人分享。不論你的背景是什麽，處於人生哪個階段……都是值得與人分享的。不要被討厭你的聽眾，或是其他人審判性的目光所嚇，不要讓任何人阻止你向前走。
我確信每個人都有一個有力、美麗及具啟發性的故事可以跟其他人分享。我也確信我遇過的、及將會遇上的每一個人都會對我的生命作出影響。可惜的是，有些人覺得自己的故事不值得跟其他人分享，這可能因為他們在過去曾遇挫敗，被一些太自我中心的人所忽視，也可能是因為聽眾們不擅於聆聽。我跟大家講，聆聽是一項非常難掌握的技巧。其中一個原因，是因為每個人都以自己的一把尺來理解這個世界。所以當我們嘗試用言語或身體去表達自己內心所想時，原來真正要表達的訊息已被扭曲了。所以當我們聆聽時，我們其實是在猜測對方在嘗試要表達的，而不是他們正在說的內容。要成為一個好的聆聽者，你必須專心一意，將所有感官都投入對話之中。嗯，嗅覺可以免除！
最後，若果你認為自己說的故事都很動聽，那你就可能會面對另一種問題──驕傲。要保持警惕，時刻撫心自問：你的動機是什麼？通常說得越多的人就越感不安。若非不安，則可能是自我中心。這是因為他們的世界太小，小得以他們自己為中心。結果，當你跟他們分享著你的故事，他們會很快又回到他們自己的故事中。
我們所有人都會是以上列出的其中一種。有時候，我們會因應當時的精神、情緒及思考力等而轉變成另一種人。問題不單是去察覺自己正擔當的角色，也要了解身邊的人正處於什麼境況，唯有這樣，我們才可以及時地雪中送炭。