2016年8月
文／Andy Lee
The guy sitting in his new Porsche spots a private helicopter flying overhead. “I’d love to have a helicopter…”. A woman in a 4×4 Range Rover sees the sports car and thinks, “That’s my dream car…”. On the other side of the road a man in his brand new hatchback sees the Range Rover and says to himself, “I want that off-road car…”.
Then there’s a lady in the next lane sitting in the car that she’s had for over 10 years who says “Look at that new car…!”, eyeing up the hatchback. Weaving in-between them is a young man on a bike. “If only I could afford a car…”. The man waiting at the bus stop notices the biker. “I wish I had a bike…”. Just then a woman emerges on the balcony of her apartment and sees the man at the bus stop. She’s in a wheelchair, “He can go wherever he wants…”.
The above story is taken from a YouTube video that has had over 128 million hits so far. The conclusion? Be grateful for what you have.
When we compare ourselves to those who have more, we lose. When we compare ourselves to those that have less, we win. But should we even be competing with each other in that way at all? What do we seek to gain? What if we simply stopped comparing? What if we didn’t have to see others as less well off to make us feel better? Conversely, what if we stopped desiring and envying what others have? That’s easier said than done, though. It requires a real concerted effort on our part to focus on what we have, rather than on what we don’t.
I helped a good friend build a brand new wardrobe in his brand new house at the weekend. It was a beautiful new build house, solidly built, spacious bedrooms with an en suite master, and a modern and stylishly fitted kitchen. It’s a lot nicer than my house. I began to imagine how nice it would be to live in a house like this….
It’s so easy to let this type of thought wander, with dangerous and far reaching consequences. Hold on! I hear you say – Where’s the harm in a little bit of day-dreaming now and again? What’s wrong with thinking about how nice that house is, or that car? Or their clothes? Phone? Job? Looks?
I guess nothing, if the thoughts stop there. But entertain those thoughts long enough and they will start to take shape, evolving into something else. And this something else isn’t always healthy. So what’s the solution to prevent that from happening? Gratitude. An attitude of gratitude is probably a familiar phrase to you, but let’s change the angle slightly. Being grateful for the things that we have keeps our hearts away from a place of resentment and a constant chasing of the material possessions in this world. But more important than things are the people in our lives. When we intentionally and purposefully focus on being grateful for the people we have in our lives, this not only keeps us feeling blessed, it also has a massive impact on every person we interact with. There are a few friends on Facebook that keep popping up on my newsfeed, where they update their status with daily posts of gratitude for certain people in their life, #365grateful. It’s beautiful and so enriching, seeing people being lifted up for who they are and how much they’re appreciated for who they are and what they do.
Are there people in your life, whether strangers, friends or family that you come across in your daily life that maybe could do with some of your gratitude? The person that serves you at your local supermarket or chippy? The bus driver? Your pastor? Your mum, dad, maybe even your boss?
Maybe you’ve served the same customer for years, listened to the same preacher week after week, become expectant of dinner ready and waiting for you when you get home from work. Routine kills gratitude. You can spot someone who doesn’t have gratitude a mile away. They talk about themselves a lot, have an entitlement mindset (getting upset because their favourite dish at the restaurant ran out), or, as we touched on earlier, are always pursuing more things.
So how many times have you said thank you in the past week, who to and what for? Whether your answer is none (let’s hope not!) or 50, there’s always room for improvement, right? Instead of posting about your feelings or how wonderful your own life is, tag someone you’re thankful for, praise them in front of the world, make them feel like a million dollars! Send a short encouraging message, give them a call. Or just start saying thank you with a genuine, real, ‘I really do appreciate you’ kind of a smile. #grateful
常懷感恩之心
文／Andy Lee
翻譯／啟思
一個坐在他全新保時捷跑車中的男人看到一架私人飛機飛過頭頂。「我也想要一架直升飛機……」一個坐在路虎攬勝中的女人看到了保時捷跑車，心想，「那可是我夢想中的跑車……」而馬路對側坐在全新掀背小轎車中的男人看到了女人的SUV，自言自語道，「我真想要那輛越野車啊……」
在旁邊那條車道上，坐在她開了十多年的小轎車中的女士抬眼看著旁邊的新車，低語道，「看看那輛新車……！」一個年輕人騎著自行車從他們中間穿過，「要是我能買得起一輛車該多好……」在公車站等車的另一個人注意到了那個騎自行車的小夥子。「我真想要輛自行車啊……」而在那時一個女人從公寓陽臺上看到了等車的那個人。坐在輪椅中的她想，「他想去哪兒都能去……」
上面的故事來自於一個Youtube視頻，現在已有1.28億的點擊量。結論是什麼？
感恩你現在擁有的一切。
當我們拿自己去和那些擁有更多的人相比，我們是失敗的；當我們拿自己去和那些沒有什麼的人相比，我們是成功的。但我們真的應該這樣去相互攀比嗎？我們追求的是什麼？要是我們停止比較會怎樣？要是我們不需要去看到別人的不幸而讓自我感覺良好會怎樣？反之，如果我們不去羡慕別人所擁有的會怎樣？儘管說比做要容易得多，我們需要真正專注自己所擁有的，而不是去豔羨我們所沒有的。
週末的時候，我幫一個好朋友在他的新家裝了個新衣櫥。他新建的房子漂亮結實，主臥套房寬敞明亮，廚房現代感十足又別具特色，比我家好多了。我開始想像，要是能在這樣的房子裡生活該有多好……
讓這樣的想法在腦海中馳騁真是太容易了，但後果卻是危險而深遠的。等等！我聽到你在說什麼——時常做做白日夢又有什麼害處呢？想想那樣的房子有多好，那樣的車有多好又有什麼錯呢？或者他們的衣服？手機？工作？外貌？
如果這些想法止於此的話，那我想這無可厚非。但長久下來，要滿足這些想法並讓它生根發芽，就會令其發展成別的東西，而這並非一定對我們有好處。所以，防止這些發生的解決方案是什麼？感恩。感恩的態度對你而言可能是個再熟悉不過的詞語，但讓我們稍稍變換一下角度。對於我們所擁有的一切充滿感恩能讓我們的心遠離怨恨的深淵，遠離對這世界上物質財富的追逐。但比東西更重要的，是我們生命中出現的人。當我們有意地對生命中的人滿懷感恩，這不但能讓我們感到幸福，更能讓我們對生命中遇到的每一個人產生巨大的影響。我Facebook上的一些朋友常常出現在新鮮事中，他們每天都會更新狀態，發佈對他們生命中的人的感恩之心，#365grateful。看到人們不管身分，都能得到生命的昇華、以及因他們所做的而得到認同與感激，這是何等的美麗，何等的豐富。
你的生命中是否也有這樣的人——無論他們是你在生活中遇到的陌生人、朋友還是家人——會讓你充滿感恩？在超市或小吃店為你服務的人？司機？你的牧師？你的媽媽、爸爸、甚至是你的老闆？
也許你已為同一位顧客服務了多年、每週都去聽同一位牧師的講道、期待著下班回家就有做好的飯菜等著你……日復一日的生活習慣會扼殺感恩。你會發現有的人一點兒也不感恩。他們高談闊論自己的事，認為自己理所應當得到這些（因為餐廳裡最愛的那道菜上完了而感到不安），或者就像我們剛剛說的，總是在追求更多的東西。
在過去的一周裡，你說過多少次「謝謝你」？是對誰說的？為什麼說呢？無論你的回答是沒有（最好不是！）還是50次，總還是有改進的空間，對嗎？嘗試不去發佈你自己的感受，也不去炫耀自己的生活有多美好，而是把你感激的人tag上(加上標籤)，在眾人面前讚美他們，展現他們最美好的一面！發一條鼓舞人心的短信，給他們打個電話，或是帶著真心的「我真的很感激你」的微笑，對他們說句:謝謝你。#grateful