Andy Lee
I have conducted close to a hundred interviews if not more, for various roles in various industries in my work. One of the questions I frequently ask is “What are your three biggest weaknesses?” I then observe intently. I notice their body language and facial expressions. The ‘how’ of their answer is as significant to me, sometimes more significant than the ‘what’, the content of their answer.
Some hesitate, taken by surprise at the apparent conflict that’s just arisen – they’re here to sell themselves as the best person for the job and they’ve just been asked to give reasons why they might not be suitable – so some in-chair squirming takes place. Others, having done their research, are more prepared, and rattle three reasons off the tongue, answering fluently and confidently.
One of the more common answers I hear to the question is – “I’m a perfectionist”. The trick to answering the weakness question well is to give an answer that you can put a positive spin on. I think a reason why so many give this perfectionist answer is because, whilst it can be seen as a weakness in terms of not knowing when good enough is good enough, it also serves to illustrate a deep drive to excel.
Unfortunately, and naively in many cases, the candidate fails to see that the pitfalls of a perfectionist mentality far outweigh any upsides worth considering. From the recruiter’s perspective, this makes the candidate an unlikely match for the organisation.
What might seem to be a healthy approach to achieve success in life, whether in the area of relationships, career, health, finance to name but a few, actually carries with it unwanted consequences. These burdens can weigh heavily on your journey. I know because I had been that way myself for many years.
Playing football (for fun I might add) was a great example of my perfectionist tendencies. If I misplaced a pass, missed a chance to score, or made a defensive error to let the other team score, I would shout out loud in frustration. Very angrily. At myself. I could’ve done better. Correction. I should’ve done better. My team mates didn’t need to say anything. I was my own worst critic.
How do you know if you have a perfectionist approach to life?
• You are ultra competitive
• Regardless of the progress you’re quite clearly making, it’s not enough
• You never feel like you’re there, wherever there is
• Efforts and intentions aren’t the point, the result is the point
• You lack inner peace, even if on the outside everything looks great
It’s a fruitless endeavour to chase perfection because it is simply impossible for man to achieve. “Ahhh…” you might say, “But at least if I aim for perfection, I’ll still have achieved more than if I aimed for mediocrity!”. It’s like the quote from Norman Vincent Peale “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars”. Except it’s nothing like that quote, because even landing among the stars wouldn’t be enough. It’s a desperate pursuit to chase a feeling of contentment and satisfaction that never comes.
Lately, I have made a conscious effort to celebrate progress in a bid to counteract my own perfectionist tendencies. In our annual strategy meeting at work I apologised to my team for not recognising the amazing progress they made in several areas, the results of which led to more efficient ways of working and new business opportunities. I told the team I will do better in recognising where we are on the journey. A great way of doing that is to compare where we are today to where we were yesterday, at least as much as looking at where we need to get to. I revised our one-to-one meeting agendas, to specifically include the item “Celebrate Wins”. We then actively seek out what wins there have been since the previous meeting, that they’ve either seen or been directly involved in.
In my personal life I am doing the same thing – being more intentional in being thankful for the progress I have made up to now, before I look ahead to my goals for the day, and beyond. My wife also plays her part in reminding me to celebrate the small victories along the way…every little helps.
I thoroughly believe that the desire to be our best and reach our potential in life is inside all of us. I also believe that those who seek perfection in everything they put their hands to, do so with positive intention. It’s just that a little tweaking in our perspective is necessary to make the whole journey infinitely more exciting.