Chinese Christian Herald Crusades UK

青年園地︰Who Aren’t You?

Andy Lee

 

 

I didn’t have a specific career that I wanted to pursue when I was younger. I do remember often daydreaming about being a professional footballer though. Then when I became a Christian in my late teens, I wanted to serve the Church full time as a youth leader. Then later that goal evolved into wanting to be pastor of a church. Now over a decade later, I am neither, though I’m still pursuing and still attentive to how and what God is speaking into my life.

 

 

 

 

Those are the things I could’ve been. Labels, if you like, of my identity. There were other labels, I recall, given to me by people. At school I was described as quiet and shy. My mum would call me naughty, or useless, or stupid depending on the situation. Girls would call me arrogant, friends would call me cocky, and lecturers would say I’m lazy.

 

 

Then there’s my own self-labelling. The times when I’ve called myself stupid for doing something…well…stupid! Or blaming and getting frustrated with myself for not knowing what I want to do with my life, when others seem to know exactly what they want, like being a doctor, a teacher, a humanitarian relief worker, or something else noble and worthy.

 

 

I am thankful now that I have certain roles in my life that offer focus and attention, and give me a sense of purpose. My Facebook profile introduces me as:

 

 

“Married to Lisa, Elder of Ivy Church, Ops Director at Satsecure, Personal Coach at andylee.me.”

 

 

To live a life of purpose and meaning, requires an element of knowing who you are, and also knowing who you’re not. The sad truth is that so many of us, much more than we might initially believe, have shrunk our dreams to fit into the labels given to us by others, and by ourselves.

 

 

It’s these labels, we can also call them lies, that lead to beliefs about who we are and what we’re ultimately capable of achieving. When people in authority or people who we really respect tell us that we don’t have what it takes to be something or do something, it affects us in a big way.

 

 

It makes sense to listen to those we respect because they know better, they have more experience, more expertise and more wisdom. Except a lot of times, it’s a load of rubbish. I really mean that. I’m not questioning the love and the well-intended motives behind those whose words we often take as gospel, but a lot of times these same people (I include myself in this group) give biased opinions that are self-centred instead of other-centred and skewed from the truth but nonetheless get passed off as wise counsel.

 

 

“Don’t do a photography degree, you’re not creative enough to compete”, “Don’t ask him out, he’s out of your league”, “Don’t bother applying for that job, you’re not clever enough”, “You don’t have the discipline to set up your own business”, “You’ll never make the team, you’re too selfish”.

 

 

People mean well but often their unqualified views stem from their own imperfect lives and consequences of the bad choices they’ve made in their own lives. That, and watching too much TV drama!

 

 

Now, don’t go and shove this article into the faces of those you think the above examples describe, that’s just asking for trouble! However, do start quietly questioning the validity of some limiting labels and beliefs you hold about yourself. If these labels are preventing you from chasing after your passion and what you really want in life, then it’s worth shaking them up a bit right?

 

 

Then there are the beliefs that solidify into labels about ourselves based on past experience; “I’m no good at academia, I’m a poor student”, “Success is for other people, but not me”, “I’m too ugly to get the girl”, “I’m too nice to be a leader”, “I’m too loud to be a leader”, “I’m too shy to be on stage”.

 

 

Don’t be held back by other people’s labels of you, by their opinions of what they think you can or can’t be, or what you can or can’t achieve. You are not what others say you are.

 

 

Don’t be held back by your own negative opinions of yourself, by the mistakes and failures of your past. You are not your past mistakes. You are not your past failures.

 

 

You are not these things. These are not you. You are more than that. Much more than that. If you want be all that you can be in life, and move towards becoming the person that you were created and destined to be, you’ve got to start shaking loose some of those unhealthy labels in your life.