Wynne
Let’s face it – life is tough sometimes! We get caught up in a stressful time at work where productivity is at a minimum. We go home to difficult family dynamics. We are too tired to get out of the house to do anything over the weekend. We are so unmotivated to even make good meals so we resort to takeaway most of the time. We keep putting off that fitness plan we have had in mind for a while. We delay the holiday to that place you always wanted to visit. We keep thinking we will do that thing we really enjoy later on when life treats us better.
We get stuck in a routine where we find ourselves doing the bare minimum to get by. Gradually and unconsciously, we lose sight of who we are. At times, this can lead our thoughts to an unmotivated or even dark place where we feel we are unable to get out of.
Our identity is one of the most important things to us. Without a clear sense of identity, we are bound to passively follow the flow and end up wherever life’s circumstances take us. At some point, you can lose sight of who you are because you did not take charge of what makes you, well, YOU!
As a Christian, my identity first and foremost is found in God. Everything I do or say should flow from the love I first received from Him when He sent His son Jesus Christ to die for me on the Cross.
Where do you find your identity? A good place to start is where you find the version of yourself you are most proud of. If you are struggling, try to think back to a time when you were happy and truly loved the person you were. Think of a time when you felt confident and had little doubts about yourself.
Personally, I find that the best version of myself is when I am back home with my family. I went through quite a stressful time late last year and felt like I was slowly losing confidence in who I was. I decided to take action by making a 2-week trip back home amidst all the stresses. I went on holiday with my parents and spent Chinese New Year with the entire family. I felt like I was not someone who was struggling alone with what life had thrown at me. I was reminded of my cherished and unfaltering identity as a granddaughter, daughter, sister, niece and cousin. I am proud of this identity I have. I always feel loved, reassured and well-fed (Chinese families do this particularly well!) in the company of my family. This is where an important part of my identity lies. This is where I find the best version of myself and where I find a lot of my confidence. This is where I am able to be re-energised to face life’s challenges ahead.
For you, it may not be family. Some people love who the person they are around their best friends. Make a plan to meet up with them from time to time! Some people are proud of a sport they used to excel in. Break the routine and join a sports club! Others reconnect best with themselves in nature. Plan a nature walk or a beach visit regularly! You may feel most fulfilled when doing good to others. Volunteer at a homeless shelter every week! You may love who you are whilst with your partner. Make a plan to leave the hustle and bustle of life and spend a weekend away together, or even just a simple game night in the house!
Whatever it is, invest your time in something that reminds you regularly of the version of yourself you love!
It is worth noting that this is not about momentarily escaping life’s problems. Challenges in life will always be present but we do not necessarily need to swept up in them and lose sight of who we are as a result. Doing something to remind ourselves of our identity helps us gain clarity of who we are outside our problems.
Reconnecting with our identity helps us see the bigger picture. It helps remove us from a toxic mindset, environment or routine to reflect on who we truly are and what we need to nurture our inner being. It clears our headspace and allows us room to focus on the version of ourselves we love and are proud of.